It’s a life we live, that’s what’s important in this life I think, it’s the best possible outcome at least. If we don’t understand that much about life, then what are we supposed to do about it? I mean, come on now. We’re meant to live and see what’s out there, aren’t we? One would think so! If we can’t do that, then we’re lost souls on this river, or ocean even and we cannot get past it all. We are lost at sea as it were cast about the waves unable to get past whatever it is we’re meant to get past. So, let’s live life to its fullest. Don’t overthink things, don’t allow yourself to become corrupt in such thinking. Supposedly not everything is black and white, I’m not sure how that works exactly. I wish I could have a handle on it all, but I don’t know how that tends to work. So I forget whatever is meant to be and I will understand it as it’s meant to come to me, if at all.
I want to say it first began in High School when I thought I was trying to beat the devil. Now when I say I was "trying to beat the devil", I mean I actually thought I was hearing the devil speak to me at night and that I had to find some way to overcome him. Looking back I should have sought professional help then. I remember telling a friend about this experience, and he looked at me like I was nuts. Talk about craziness right? Yeah something like that. I believe my first mental break was when I was serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints . I wanted to go home so bad. It could have just been homesickness . But...there was something more to it. About halfway through I was just done with it all. I had had enough of rejection and wanted to go home. But I was afraid that I was unable to because I would simply be told no . I know that sounds silly to people. But that's what happened. I didn't b...
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