I'm not sure how else to explain it. Life is weird... it's more than weird, it's annoying and evil and just plain down right disgusting. I"m wide awake right now and I don't know what to do with myself. I mean come on now, I should be able to figure out something in this life. Yet I can't and here I am wondering what will happen when life is all over and everything ends. Will I be happy? I'm not happy now....that's not fair though. I should be happy. I should be able to be happy. I don't understand it. Happiness doesn't come simply because I will it to come, something has to give.
Over the years I've had to deal with suicidal ideation. Those are thoughts of being dead, some more extreme than others. It causes issues for me a lot of the time. It's not an easy thing to talk about at all. Here's what it is: Suicidal ideation ( suicidal thoughts ) are thoughts or ideas centered around death or suicide . Experiencing suicidal ideation doesn’t mean you’re going to kill yourself, but it can be a warning sign.
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