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Why!!!

Why must life be this way? I don’t understand it. If we lived in a utopia, things might be better; but I’m not sure about that. I wish there was some kind of something to overcome this feeling of inadequacy. I doubt I will ever fully figure it out. If I had the ability, I would do it in a second. But I don’t seem to have that ability at the moment. Maybe one day I will be able to figure it all out.
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Fear

 I live in fear most days. It doesn't make any sense to me. The fear is an odd one. It is from my phone. I can't stop thinking that it will ring and it will be something unpleasant. So I do my best to try to avoid my phone at all costs. I put it on silent. I put it in my room. But yet I check it once in a while to make sure there's nothing important coming through. It's a complicated mess. I hate it.

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