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Anxious Today, WTF?

I am rather anxious today. I think it has to do with the medication(s) I am on at the moment. Doctor changed some medications, added some, did some other things put me back on medications I haven’t been on in a while…the same ol’ same ol’. Anti-Psychotic meds work wonders when they work, they’re amazing. When your mind doesn’t want them to work? Well, that’s when things become quite a problem. I hate to admit it, but life doesn’t always work the way we want it to work. What can I say? It’s a mess at times. There’s nothing wrong with that, but to say it’s not complex is a complete overhaul of whatever there is. Talk about a mixed bag of nuts. Someone doesn’t understand everything there is to understand about it all. If I wasn’t anxious, today would be a better day than it is. But, well I am so there’s nothing I can do about it. I wish there was…but there isn’t so I’ll just have to deal with whatever comes my way. Such a bummer if you think about it all. Nothing is ever cureable. Every...
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Policy Changes


Once called revelation, a difficult policy has been reversed. Children of gay parents can now be baptized into the LDS church before the age of 18, they are now eligible to have a baby blessing and all other ordinances allowed to other members of the church.

People in a same sex marriage are no longer to be disciplined under grounds of apostasy.
These changes come a short 3.5 years after they were put into place.

There are some questions I have regarding this.

  1. Did God change His mind? It was spoken as revelation at the start, and now it’s more revelation to end such a practice? Which revelation is correct?
  2. What of those who were excommunicated during the policy because they were found guilty of apostasy? Does God simply shake his head at it and say oops...that shouldn’t have happened.
  3. How long before all of this is swept under the rug and people claim it never took place to begin with?
  4. What about those who testified about the road the church took? How important it was and how God is never changing? What will they say now regarding it all?
  5. Perhaps more importantly, what about those who committed suicide because of the harsh policy? They were told they weren’t welcome, weren’t wanted, and now the policy changes and it’s suddenly okay? As though nothing happened before November 2015.

I do not have answers to any of these questions. I doubt I will ever find an answer to these questions in my lifetime. Perhaps at the very end, I can ask God what He was thinking when he prompted these revelations.

This weighs heavy on my heart and soul.
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