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Suicidal Ideation

 Over the years I've had to deal with suicidal ideation. Those are thoughts of being dead, some more extreme than others. It causes issues for me a lot of the time. It's not an easy thing to talk about at all. Here's what it is: Suicidal ideation ( suicidal thoughts )  are thoughts or ideas centered around death or suicide . Experiencing suicidal ideation doesn’t mean you’re going to kill yourself, but it can be a warning sign.
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Didn't Sleep

 What's the point of sleep anymore if I can't sleep? I don't think I slept any good last night. I was awake at 3 am wondering to myself, what on earth am I doing awake? Yeah, that happened. It doesn't make any sense. Fortunately, it's the weekend. So, I can catch up on sleep tonight. I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow, so it's a good opportunity to actually sleep for once. Whatever the case, I hope I'll be able to fall asleep and stay asleep. We will see what happens.
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Thinking About Life

So sleepy today, I don't know why that is. Trying to watch the Super Bowl, but I just feel like I want to fall asleep. Talk about nuts and crazy, yet here I am. I don't have a clue who I want to win the game. I've chosen to root for the 49ers only because I've been told that I have to choose. Haha! Yeah it's that crazy if you ask me. Oh well, I'm sure whoever wins the game it will all work outin the end. I'm not feeling well. Let's face it, I could be having a mental break at the moment but I just don't know. I hope that's not the case, if it were then I have to figure things out and fix them. That's all there is to it. Nothing more than that. Storing these thoughts in a database is a good idea I think. I can query a database for certain key words and go from there. It's a good thing for sure. So yeah that's all there is to it. With the thought of a 4th voice in my head/mind, I am afriad to go to sleep. What if it follows me aroun...
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