Today is nothing but a bowl of trouble it feels like. I don’t know how else to put it. I mean, do we really have to figure out why life is weird? I don’t think so. It’s annoying at best, sure, but that doesn’t mean we have to figure it all out in one go now does it? No, I didn’t think so. If life had a reason to be this way, I’m sure we’d be able to figure something out. But since we don’t have that ability, we are kind of left to our own devices and that isn’t always a good thing. The thoughts that enter my mind at times, they aren’t the best. They can come and go, and sometimes they’ll never leave. It’s a shame if you ask me. But what do I know about it? That’s the thing, I don’t.
I want to say it first began in High School when I thought I was trying to beat the devil. Now when I say I was "trying to beat the devil", I mean I actually thought I was hearing the devil speak to me at night and that I had to find some way to overcome him. Looking back I should have sought professional help then. I remember telling a friend about this experience, and he looked at me like I was nuts. Talk about craziness right? Yeah something like that. I believe my first mental break was when I was serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints . I wanted to go home so bad. It could have just been homesickness . But...there was something more to it. About halfway through I was just done with it all. I had had enough of rejection and wanted to go home. But I was afraid that I was unable to because I would simply be told no . I know that sounds silly to people. But that's what happened. I didn't b...
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