I am rather anxious today. I think it has to do with the medication(s) I am on at the moment. Doctor changed some medications, added some, did some other things put me back on medications I haven’t been on in a while…the same ol’ same ol’. Anti-Psychotic meds work wonders when they work, they’re amazing. When your mind doesn’t want them to work? Well, that’s when things become quite a problem. I hate to admit it, but life doesn’t always work the way we want it to work. What can I say? It’s a mess at times. There’s nothing wrong with that, but to say it’s not complex is a complete overhaul of whatever there is. Talk about a mixed bag of nuts. Someone doesn’t understand everything there is to understand about it all. If I wasn’t anxious, today would be a better day than it is. But, well I am so there’s nothing I can do about it. I wish there was…but there isn’t so I’ll just have to deal with whatever comes my way. Such a bummer if you think about it all. Nothing is ever cureable. Every...
I want to say it first began in High School when I thought I was trying to beat the devil. Now when I say I was "trying to beat the devil", I mean I actually thought I was hearing the devil speak to me at night and that I had to find some way to overcome him. Looking back I should have sought professional help then. I remember telling a friend about this experience, and he looked at me like I was nuts. Talk about craziness right? Yeah something like that. I believe my first mental break was when I was serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints . I wanted to go home so bad. It could have just been homesickness . But...there was something more to it. About halfway through I was just done with it all. I had had enough of rejection and wanted to go home. But I was afraid that I was unable to because I would simply be told no . I know that sounds silly to people. But that's what happened. I didn't b...
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