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Life Is Hard

Tue Jun 16 11:25:43 AM MDT 2026 Life feels kind of difficult at times today. I’m not sure what’s going on with it all. I feel like something is out to get me. I don’t know what’s out to get me for sure, but it feels like something is out there waiting to destroy me. I don’t like that feeling. It feels so weird and off at times. I wish I had a clue of what it is all about. But I don’t. It feels like a large weight is on my chest and I can’t seem to breathe. That’s what it feels like. I don’t like it. I’m sure it will go away eventually. It can’t stick around forever. Right? Right? I sure as hell hope it can’t! Tue Jun 16 01:15:14 PM MDT 2026 If I had the ability, I think I would want life to make some kind of sense. I’m not sure how that’s meant to be though. If life doesn’t make sense, who am I to say otherwise. I don’t think I’m allowed to have such a command presence on such a topic. Life will be what it always is. It will either be good or it will be bad. I do not know how it i...
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Who Knows?

 Ever sit and wonder who is really in control of everything? Like the universe, this Earth, everything that the eye can see and beyond. I'm talking about everything here. Everything covers a lot of things, that much is for sure. I don't know how else to explain it. Some say it's God, other's say it's just a random cosmic being who's out there doing whatever they want to do. There are so many different theories out there, it can get quite confusing.

Personally, I believe we are in a simulation. Well at least I am in a simulation. None of this is real. We are all manifestations of the creator in different forms. Whoever is in charge of this simulation, that's how it works. I don't know if I've been in this simulation for five minutes, or an hour, or years. The memories could have been preloaded into this thing I call a brain. So, who knows how that works. I don't have a clue.

The experiences we have don't matter. That's just how it works. Someone is monitoring everything that goes on. For some reason it amuses them. They see value in all of that, but in reality, there is no value in any of it. Who cares what I do day by day.

The depression and anxiety get annoying at times. I wonder what the reason is for having that. Is it some kind of laboratory experience? Is that all I've become? A lab rat? They run tests on me, see where my levels get and go from there. That's what it sounds like to me. They just want to mess with me is all that's going on. We'll see what happens with all of that. What more torture they can come up with to test me.

What is the purpose of this simulation though? There must be something that is going on to make it make sense. I don't know how that works though. There are probably some kinds of rules that exist for all of this experiment. There would have to be right? That's what I'm thinking.

At the end of the day, none of this is real. It's all made up in someone's mind, and that's all there is to it.

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