Ending Your Life

 There's a lot of controversy about ending your live, ceasing your existence. I don't understand what's wrong with wanting to die. One would think it should be up to the individual if they wish to die or not. If they feel their time is up, then they should be able to terminate their status of living. Yet people get all up in arms about it. They interfere saying it's not that person's place to want to terminate their own existence.

Who's to say it's not their right to die? If they are done with this life, let them simply end their life. There's no reason for them to continue on if that's not what they want. What if they are suffering from some kind of illness where there's no cure. Would you force them to continue to live in that pain and agony?

I would propose that people should be allowed to terminate their own lives if they wish. They choose to do anything else with their life, why would ending it be anything different?

People who force others to live are playing God in a sense aren't they? Telling someone they have to continue living even if that way of living is a personal hell to them. It doesn't make sense to me. If someone is up, they are up. There's no if ands or buts about it.

Obviously, I am probably in the minority in this train of thought. Most people would want to force a person to live out their life no matter how miserable it is. It just doesn't feel fair to me. That's all there is to it. Why should someone be forced to live when they don't want to? To want to end your life is considered something wrong with you. All of a sudden you are mentally ill and need to be taken care of.

It just doesn't make any sense to me.

Yes, people would be sad by your passing and all of that, but they'll get over it. It's just a part of grief that everyone will experience eventually. So, what's so wrong with allowing it to happen? Isn't that what hospice does? Make people comfortable as they're on the way out the door?

Maybe that's a bad example, hospice doesn't assist in suicide in anyway. They are there to help make sure patients aren't in pain and suffering as they are knocking on deaths door.

Maybe I'm just thinking about all of this the wrong way. I don't know. Does it really matter though? Does any of this really matter? I doubt it. What's this life for anyways. Are we here to gain experiences and see what happens with those experiences? I just don't know. It would be nice to be able to figure things out once in a while. But I doubt it will ever be understood by this brain.

I don't see how it would hurt anyone. Would people be sad someone has passed? Yes of course they would. But that's part of life. It's just another step in life, that's all there is to it.

Saying that I want to end my life, shouldn't come as a surprise. It's something I've just wanted to do. I want to see what's on the other side of life. Is that such a bad thing? I don't know. It would be a simple thing to happen. You wouldn't even have to think it through; there are so many things that you just don't need to think through.

Am I mentally ill because I wish to die? That I wish to end it all? There is nothing else I want to do with my life. So why not allow me to end it? There's no point in worrying about death. Everyone will go through it eventually. Will it hurt? Yes, in some cases I imagine it will hurt bad.

But the moment you say you wish you were dead, someone sends you off to the hospital in order to be analyzed and checked out. If they feel like you need to stay for a week or so, they will do it. There's no need for it in most cases, but some cases it is needed, I guess. It doesn't make sense to me.

Just let me die. That's all I'm asking for. No one should have a say in it but me. Call me selfish if you wish, call me whatever you want to call me, but it's the truth.

Whoever thought there's a problem with wanting to die never felt the way someone who wants to die feels. Is that a possibility that no one ever thinks about? I wish I had a clue, I wish I knew what to think about it all but there doesn't seem to be anything that I can say to make people want to believe this way of thinking is okay.

They want to force you to live. When you live in hell, there's nothing good about it. I guess that's what it all comes down to. Am I living in hell, and what am I going to do about it so I no longer feel that way. Maybe the whole mentally ill thing has a place. It's not fair to those loved ones around me to say I live in hell. What I mean to say is I live in my mind. My mind lives in hell because of the thoughts that come to me at times. That's all there is to it. Does that make sense? I would never want them to think they are making my life a living hell. They don't. They are amazing. I make my own hell in my brain. That's the hell I'm talking about.

The voices that creep into my head at times. The thoughts I have, they can just get the fuck out of my life if they'd like. Will they? I doubt it. It would be nice to be able to just figure out what it is I want in this life. If I want to end it, then I should be allowed to end it.

But people don't understand that. They think everyone should be allowed to live or forced to live in this case. That's all there is to it. In their mind it's made up. Well, I say it's not fair. They can have their way of living; I should be able to have my way of living or not living as the case may be. That's really all there is to it.

There's no way to explain to these people what it is I want in life. I try to explain it to them, and they start judging or forcing their own doctrine and thoughts into my face. How is that fair? How in the hell are their values more important than mine? I don't get it. I wish I could explain better what it is my thoughts are saying. I wish I could express them out loud and people wouldn't turn a blind eye to them. I just don't understand why my thoughts on living are wrong and their thoughts are right.

If I had a way of understanding what it is they think of when it comes to life, maybe I would understand it better. But I only have my way of thinking what life is. There's no other way to think about it for me and that's what causes the problems.