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What Is This Life?

 Ever wonder what this life is all about? Like it's some kind of dream or something. It doesn't feel real. It feels fake like. Does that make sense? I'm not sure if it does, but in a way it does to me. There are so many things in this life that just don't make sense to me and here I sit in wonder of it all I just have to sit back and wonder about it and not move forward with any of it until I am able to have a coherent thought about all of it. Yeah, something like that.

It would be nice to be able to simply look forward and hope for something good in life. How can I do that effectively? My brain looks for disaster all of the time. There's nothing I haven't thought of, and that is a scary thought. So many possibilities out there of what can happen. So many things that might happen, and that alone scares me half to death.

You'd think I would be able to figure out everything that goes on in this life. But I don't think I am able to, not right now. I don't know when I'm able to figure out anything really. I just sit here wondering about whatever there is to wonder about. That's just what this life does to me, I guess. I mean what else is there to do but try and figure out everything that happens to us in this life? That's what I am faced with most days and that scares the shit out of me.

I want to be able to figure out whatever there is to figure out in this life. I don't want to just believe something because it was told to me and that I need to believe in it. That's what things feel at times and it's wrong to me. So very wrong, but that's how it feels at times.

Life will get better.

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