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Why!!!

Why must life be this way? I don’t understand it. If we lived in a utopia, things might be better; but I’m not sure about that. I wish there was some kind of something to overcome this feeling of inadequacy. I doubt I will ever fully figure it out. If I had the ability, I would do it in a second. But I don’t seem to have that ability at the moment. Maybe one day I will be able to figure it all out.
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A Placebo?

 At times I wonder if my medication is just a placebo. That is a medication that usually has no effect on a disease. Am I dreaming it all up? Have I made everything up in my mind? That these doctors aren't real. I'm taking medication that is doing nothing for me. Is that what's going on? I want to find out.

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