SchizoAffective Disorder

It's a disease that so many people carry in the world. There are so many thought processes on it that I can't even count them all. So, I won't try. I have it myself. What's to say that hasn't already been said?

Stay on top of your medication. You never know what will happen when you go off of your medication. Speaking of which I haven't taken my meds today, I need to. That much is certain. But I haven't yet and I just need to be able to keep sane for one more. day.

Ah yes, one more day. It would be nice to be able to stay strong. But that doesn't always happen. No, somedays are better than others. We don't always have the ability to pick and choose our days. I wish it were that simple, but it's not. So, we must be able to try our hardest to just keep sane.

Keeping sane, sounds easy enough, right? Yeah, I wish it did. But it doesn't and there's no reason for it to. People are afraid when you bring up the fact you have schizoaffective disorder. They don't understand it. What people don't understand scares them. That's all there is to it. There's no reason to be scared. It's nothing I can pass onto someone else. I don't have that ability to share it. No, it's isolated to me. I'm not contagious.

The suicidal thoughts come and go from time to time. I doubt there's anything I'm able to ever do about those. It would be nice to be able to get rid of them...but I can't. All I can do is my best to deal with whatever comes along in my life. It would be nice to be able to simply figure everything out all at once. Again, that feels like a pipe dream.

So many things I wish for. So many things I simply wish I could do to escape everything that is out there. But I'm unable to. I'm held hostage at this point by this crippling disease. Yes, it would be nice to be able to figure things out, but I'm unable to for some reason. Why is that? Why can't I simply figure everything out and just move on? I don't know.

Until that time comes, I'll just have to keep trying to move forward and see everything that's out there.

Suicidal Ideation

Over the years I've had to deal with suicidal ideation. Those are thoughts of being dead, some more extreme than others. It causes issues for me a lot of the time. It's not an easy thing to talk about at all. Here's what it is: Suicidal ideation ( suicidal thoughts ) are thoughts or ideas centered around death or suicide . Experiencing suicidal ideation doesn’t mean you’re going to kill yourself, but it can be a warning sign.

Life Isn't Easy

Let's face it, life isn't easy. It comes and goes, and we are stuck with it. That's the reality of it all now isn't it. No, that wasn't a question. I wish I could fix it all for everyone, but that doesn't seem to be possible. How would I fix it exactly? I'm not sure. It just would be nice to be able to tell everyone that everything will be okay in the end, and have everyone be content. Naturally people would take that in different ways. No one thinks along the same wavelength. It's a thing, I guess. But life, life isn't easy. There are so many things that we have to conquer in this life. So many things we have to deal with and battle. There isn't one simple solution to any of it. I would like there to be a solution for everything, but there isn't. I wish I could think differently. I don't believe I am able to think that way though. My brain is stuck in whatever place it's stuck. Such an odd concept to be stuck in some place without be...

Didn't Sleep

What's the point of sleep anymore if I can't sleep? I don't think I slept any good last night. I was awake at 3 am wondering to myself, what on earth am I doing awake? Yeah, that happened. It doesn't make any sense. Fortunately, it's the weekend. So, I can catch up on sleep tonight. I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow, so it's a good opportunity to actually sleep for once. Whatever the case, I hope I'll be able to fall asleep and stay asleep. We will see what happens.

DreamSense

Search This Blog