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Why Must Life Be This Way

If there’s one thing I don’t quite understand about this life, is why must it be this way? I mean, we have to deal with some things in life and we cannot easily allow them to be what they want to be, at least I don’t think that’s how it works. If it did? Then everything would be fine, we could continue on about whatever we wanted to do and there would be no harm or foul. That’s the problem with this life though. Nothing ever fully makes sense at times and we are left holding the problem end of the cord. There are times when life will come clean with us, we don’t always get that kind of protection mind you. So what do we end up doing? Do we want to keep thinking and going on about whatever there is to go on about? I’m not sure that’s a safe course of action. Hell, what is safe anymore? I do not know. What I do know is life will continue to be the way it’s meant to be. There’s no stopping it. No matter what happens in this life, we will always be stuck with whatever we’re meant to be st...
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Thinking

 There are days that are better than others. I find myself looking forward to the good days ahead and not the bad days behind me. The bad days are a reminder that I survived whatever was put before me. I am able to get through the trying times and live in the present.

I need to shave, but don't feel like it. I mean whose choice is it to shave to begin with? Me. That's who. So, if I decide not to shave, I don't need to shave. Having that one choice to make empowers me. I feel like I have control over something in a world where I don't have any control.

Life feels meaningless at times. There's nothing I'm able to comprehend about it, it just exists, and I don't feel one way or the other about it. It would be nice to be able to say no more, no longer will I be bound by this life's meaningless existence, but I can't. It keeps its hold on me, and I cannot let go.

I've compared life to music before. Like music this life continues to play on, there's nothing stopping it, it just keeps going round and round again. It would be nice for the music to stop once in a while to allow me to catch my breath. But at the moment, it doesn't allow me to do any of that. So, I am stuck.

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without racing thoughts in my mind. Those constant thoughts that I'm not good enough, that I will never amount to anything. Thoughts that cripple me down to the depths of despair. Thoughts that simply don't make any sense to me. I doubt they would make sense to anyone.

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