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Today Is A Day

Thu Jun 11 11:18:25 AM MDT 2026 Let’s talk about what today is. Today is a rather ungrateful day. It’s a Thursday, so that’s got to mean something. Of course I thought yesterday was Thursday. Such a bummer. I’m freezing today. I don’t know how hot it’s supposed to get outside? But I feel cold. I don’t usually feel cold in the summertime. I hope I’m not getting sick or coming down with something. I’m sitting in my office and I have my minky on my lap because I’m freezing! Sami’s friend dropped off some chairs so we have a place to sit now. They’re nice oversized comfy chairs too! Only cost her eight dollars, so that’s what we paid for them. It feels good to have a place to sit in while writing or watching TV again. Talk about a good thing to have around. Last night, I had some crazy thoughts. Typical “life is a simulation” thought process. I don’t know why I am having these thoughts. They seem to come out of nowhere. It just happens to be that way though. I’m not crazy, sure I’ve be...

I Don't Feel Like Living

 There I said it. I just don't feel like living anymore. I don't know what caused me to feel this way, but it's how I've felt for a while now. Life feels so rundown and too much to handle at times. Yet I continue onward hoping the thought process will change and I will want to continue in this existence.

I don't have a plan to kill myself mind you. No, that hasn't come to the table yet. Thank goodness. I just don't feel like continuing on with life. Can I have these feelings? Is it okay to have such feelings? I don't know.

Sure, there have been suicidal ideations in the past, but those aren't affecting me at the moment thank goodness. Knock on wood. Those can get scary at times. Scarier than I would ever admit. But they do crop up from time to time.

Now why do I want to die. I feel like I'm a burden on other people. I feel if I weren't around that other people wouldn't have to worry about me and I could just be on my way. They would be able to live out their lives and I would be able to be on the other side of whatever it is you go through when you die.

It seems like a fair enough compromise if you ask me.

But who am I to judge what's to happen to me? I don't know how I will end up going out someday, I hope it's quietly.

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