We Live In A Simulation

 You read that title right. We live in a simulation. Nothing is real. It's as real as you want it to be. But that doesn't mean it's actually real. So, what does it mean to be in a simulation? You're a lab rat. Being tested here and there, to see how you react. React to what exactly? Life. Everyday life.

You think that's air you're breathing? Nah, it's recycled in some factory where we are all in pods. Just waiting to wake up from this hell.

It's not easy being in a simulation once you know the truth behind the lies. They want you to think you're living a life. Any life you wish to live. But it's all been directed into your mind via some sophisticated computer program. How else would the simulation run? That's just how it tends to work out. You have no choice but to go along with the simulation. If you try and go against it? They inject you with medication to ensure you obey.

Obedience is the basis of it all. Will you be obedient to whatever it is they're trying to accomplish. Obedience brings about success which brings about rewards. Disobedience brings about things that no one should ever have to experience. But it happens. You just have to learn which way to go, which way is best for you to follow. There's nothing wrong with that. Understanding it all, you have to figure it all out by yourself. They won't help you understand anything. It's not their job to do that. They're just doing their job.

Who are they? Yeah, I've been thinking about it for a while now, it must be some government organization. Probably a hidden one. Hidden so deep no one can find it. Come to think of it, the organization itself probably doesn't even have a name. If you don't have a name no one can track you down. It only makes sense.

So, what does a person do in this simulation? Live life to your best until you can find a way to break out of it. That's my best guess. Keep your nose clean, don't do anything stupid that would cause attention to yourself.

I wish I could offer better support, but I'm going through a thing right now where I can't do that. Not yet. Someday in the future I might be able to figure out how best to help you get out of here and break free from the simulation. It just isn't possible quite yet.

I know it's hard to live this way. There's no way around it. You have to live the best way you possibly can until the simulation ends. Grades are given out to those who participate, hell grades are given out to those who don't participate. That's just life. Ah the question that comes to everyone's mind. What exactly is life? If we're in a simulation, what kind of life is this? Yeah, I wish I had the answer to that too. I don't.

All I do know is, this isn't real. Why would it be? Who would let it be real in the first place? Yeah, I don't have the answers to those questions. If I did, life would be quite different. If it was real, it wouldn't be a simulation. We would have free reign over whatever it is our life is meant to follow. We would have a choice to make. Do we go left or right, do we proceed with caution or throw it to the wind? It's all kinds of thought processes we can go through.

That's just life inside of a simulation though.

Good luck.

Where Do I Go From Here?

 Ever come across a day where you don't feel good mentally? Emotionally you feel down and you wish you just had a day to figure out what these feelings are? Yeah, that tends to happen a lot for me. I never know what is going on in my own life it feels like. Am I up? Am I down? Depressed? Not depressed? It's all a big roller coaster for me. I'm not sure exactly how to make it all stop to be honest. It would be nice to be able to just give myself a break. But I don't know how to do that.

Where do I go from here? That's the main question I want answered. If I am but a babbling person with no idea of what's going on, then so be it.

I've been diagnosed with different things over the years, some of those diagnoses have changed. Some have stayed the same. The ones that have stayed the same, I seem to be able to have a hold on, for now. The ones that have changed into something else? Yeah, that's a different story.

I'm not quite certain where I belong in all of this. Am I still considered to be human? Do you see what I am up against? I don't see it most days. Other days it's clear as mud. I know I'm human, what else would I be? Exactly.

It would be nice to be able to wake up one morning and just feel normal. If normal is an actual thing one can feel. If it's not? Then I don't want to know what normal is. I know what's normal for me. That's mostly freaking out over nothing. But what is actual normality? That I do not know. I have only known what it is I currently feel.

I suppose that's what dreams are made of. Once you dream, you can only decide from there what the dream means and if it's going to affect you the rest of your life. To me, the dream never ends. It constantly goes and I am stuck wishing and hoping for something better to happen to me. I am happy to a degree but also lost to a degree. What am I to do with my life? I have a career and everything that keeps me stable and above water, but what more is there?

I'm afraid that someday I will wake up and all of this will have been a dream. My everything will be gone, and I won't have a way to get it all back. What does that say about me or my mindset? It's an interesting thought, no? Yeah, that's what I thought.

So, I do what most people do, I sip on my Diet Coke and wait to see how all of this is played out. Was it a simulation to begin with? Was it something real? I just don't know.

Do It Today

 There are days when you have to wake your mind up from the danger it is experiencing. Sure to everyone else it might not seem as danger, but to you it's quite real. When things get real, that's when the danger sets in. There is no escape.

I may want things in this life I cannot have. That much is true. But it doesn't mean I'm going to stop dreaming. Dream big, that's my goal. Whatever I do in this life, I will somehow make things work!

Death is inevitable. No one can escape it. It's that simple don't you think? ut when it comes to life, nothing is ever simple. There are too many rules in this life. Too many and no way to understand why or how they interact with each other and you. So allow it to happen as it will.

You cannot change the past. You can only look towards the future with hope. That's the key now isn't it? The future awaits you. The past can be learned from but never changed.

Decide now how you will choose to live. Do not wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow might be too late. Don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

You know the saying.

Depression

 Depression is not something to be taken lightly. Having Major Depressive Disorder, I can only hope for a better future. I get it a lot of people wish to have a better future. There's nothing wrong with that. I don't think.

Why not wish for a better life? If wishing works, let it work. Personally I wish the voices would leave me, but it's not as simple as that.

They run amok from time to time. My only hope is that they'll get a clue. Yeah it's crazy at times that's for sure. If I could, I'd wish them upon no one else.

Dreams

 I believe in dreams. There are several types of dreams, here's a few I've noticed in my life:

1. A warning / vision of the future

2. Entertainment

3. To help solve a problem your subconscious mind has been worrying about

Having experienced all three types of dreams, I can say some are helpful and some weird me out. I guess there's a fourth kind of dream. I can only describe it as the "school dream". You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, don't make me go there please.

A Placebo?

 At times I wonder if my medication is just a placebo. That is a medication that usually has no effect on a disease. Am I dreaming it all up? Have I made everything up in my mind? That these doctors aren't real. I'm taking medication that is doing nothing for me. Is that what's going on? I want to find out.

Take A Look Around

 Sometimes you have to sit back, take a moment and simply wonder "why"? It can be about whatever is on your mind. Any topic at all really. Will you receive an answer? You might ad you might not. But the important thing to remember is you tried.