A Placebo?

 At times I wonder if my medication is just a placebo. That is a medication that usually has no effect on a disease. Am I dreaming it all up? Have I made everything up in my mind? That these doctors aren't real. I'm taking medication that is doing nothing for me. Is that what's going on? I want to find out.

Take A Look Around

 Sometimes you have to sit back, take a moment and simply wonder "why"? It can be about whatever is on your mind. Any topic at all really. Will you receive an answer? You might ad you might not. But the important thing to remember is you tried.

I Woke Up

 Woke up this morning. I suppose that's good news. I wasn't ready for my alarm to go off. Let's face it, I wanted to sleep in, But I couldn't, that's just how things go.

Suicidal Ideation

 Over the years I've had to deal with suicidal ideation. Those are thoughts of being dead, some more extreme than others. It causes issues for me a lot of the time. It's not an easy thing to talk about at all.

Here's what it is:

• Suicidal ideation (suicidal thoughts) are thoughts or ideas centered around death or suicide. Experiencing suicidal ideation doesn’t mean you’re going to kill yourself, but it can be a warning sign.

Didn't Sleep

 What's the point of sleep anymore if I can't sleep? I don't think I slept any good last night. I was awake at 3 am wondering to myself, what on earth am I doing awake? Yeah, that happened. It doesn't make any sense.

Fortunately, it's the weekend. So, I can catch up on sleep tonight. I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow, so it's a good opportunity to actually sleep for once. Whatever the case, I hope I'll be able to fall asleep and stay asleep. We will see what happens.

Life can just be weird

Let's face it, this life can just be weird. There's nothing wrong with that thought process. It just happens. There are many things in this life that can make it weird. Some things we just don't have control over and that much can be annoying at best. People like to have control over certain aspects of life. When you feel like you no longer have that control, well it just doesn't work out for you.

No Sleep

 This is the second day I've woken up early. Like way earlier than normal. Like four am early. I don't know what to do about it. I need my sleep. I can't keep doing this, can I? Sooner or later my body will be all, oh forget you and not wake up on time at all. That would be a nightmare.

Hopefully I'll be able to figure this out, because a man needs his sleep.